Sexy Swingers

Every Monday night we play trivia at Jimmy the Greek's in Old Orchard. And every Monday night, to fill up the time that isn't devoted to chewing, drinking, and incorrectly answering trivia questions, we read off our top 10 lists. Every week it's a new topic. We've done Top 10 pitchers, quarterbacks, buildings, action stars, politicians, and even sexiest males- to name a few. Keeping with the spirit of lists and sexiness, I've decided to read all your minds and make the list of the

TOP 10 SEXIEST BALLPLAYERS

Just like a real ball team, I'll have one guy at each position. Heck, I'm even going to pick a backup for each spot. Next week I’ll do the 5 sexiest starting pitchers, and a bullpen. Naturally I'll need a skipper as well. So, if you're keeping count, that's a lot more than 10, but TOP 31 SEXIEST BALLPLAYERS or whatever number it ends up being just doesn't sound as cool. And I'm going to stick with active players only, so sorry Jim Palmer, Tom Seaver, Ted Williams, and Willie McGee, but you'll have to wait for another list on another day. Let the sexiness begin!

Catcher

Joe Mauer, Minnesota

A no-brainer. Not only is he the handsomest catcher, but he's also hands down the best in the majors. A perennial contender for the batting crown, he sort of looks like Lou Ferigno from the trapezius up.

Backup sexy catcher: Jason Varitek, Boston.

First base

Derrek Lee, Chicago

Who wouldn’t want to get to first base with this hunk? No, he’s not the hitter he used to be, but manning the cold corner, he’s not facing much competition in the looks department. Youkilis? A sweaty ape. Teixiera? Continuously dropped as a baby. Berkman? Umm... First base might be the ugliest position in baseball.

Backup sexy first baseman: Carlos Pena, Tampa Bay.

Second Base

Ian Kinsler, Texas

Most folks would probably call me crazy for not going with Chase Utley on this one. I agree, Utley poses a major threat on the sexometer but unlike Utley, Kinsler doesn’t seek out the dugout camera and slick back his hair 4 times an inning. Sexiness is about modesty too, Chase.

Backup sexy second baseman: Chase Utley, Philadelphia.

Third Base

David Wright, New York

A tough choice, as the hot corner produces some hot customers. David Wright wins it with that winning smile of his. It takes a lot of sexiness to pull off that oversized helmet he sported last season.

Backup sexy third baseman: Mike Lowell, Boston

Shortstop

Hanley Ramirez, Florida

The one that got away… Anyway, Hanley offers it all. I remember watching Hanley at Hadlock field years ago and thinking to myself, “Yep, someday that guy is going to be one of the sexiest players in the majors.” There seems to be a correlation between sexiness and skill with the bat.

Backup sexy shortstop: Elvis Andrus, Texas

Left field

Ryan Braun, Milwaukee

A fantasy darling and the darling of our fantasies, I found out he lived in Santa Monica and liked to go for his daily run around 9 am. Well I drove through his neighborhood all the time and never saw him once. The moral: Bums lie.

Backup sexy left fielder: Rick Ankiel, Kansas City

Center field

Jacoby Ellsbury, Boston

Yes, I realize he’s supposed to be a left fielder this season, but he hasn’t played their yet. What superlative can we bestow upon Ellsbury that hasn’t already been bestowed? The sexiest player in baseball hands down (his pants!).

Backup sexy center fielder: Grady Sizemore, Cleveland

Right field

Ichiro, Seattle

Ichiro knows what it means to be sexy, and he knows what he likes: “Chicks who dig home runs aren't the ones who appeal to me. I think there's sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I'd rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength”. Well said, Japanese sexbot.

Backup sexy right fielder: Andre Either, Los Angeles

Designated Hitter

Kevin Millar, Baltimore

Boy those are some slim pickings at DH. This guy earned it with his swagger and his ability to pull a pitch no matter how far outside it is. No, he’s not even in the American League anymore, but he likes fried chicken in a bucket, cowboys, and striking out multiple times whenever I’m in the ballpark.

Backup sexy DH: Ken Griffey Jr.

COMING SOON: Starting pitchers, bullpen, and the all important manager.