Wieners in the Wind

On Thursday, Breanne and I attended our first Sea Dogs game of the season. After thunderstorms and rain in the morning, the sky had opened up around noon. After removing the tarp from the field, they were able to start the game at 12:30, only 30 minutes after the scheduled game time.

I was in a hurry to get the game going because I had my final Biology class at 3 o’clock in South Portland. With the late start and slow pace of the first inning, I figured I’d have to leave by the 5th or so. The second batter reached for the visiting Reading Phillies and the Sea Dogs pitcher threw to first 7 times to check the runner. I’m pretty sure the guy ended up stealing 2^nd anyway.

Sometime in the bottom of the 1^st, a young man with a big forehead and a green collared shirt came to our section and stuck out his hand to introduce himself to me. His name was Brayden, I believe, and he worked for the Sea Dogs promotion team. He wanted to know if Breanne and I would like to take part in an on-field promotion. We looked at each other then Breanne nodded her head while I said yes. Brayden said that we’d be working together to try and catch hot dogs in a giant box. We were to meet him at the player’s entrance after the 3^rd inning.

The game moved quickly after that. The Reading pitcher induced ground balls and the wind killed any ball ambitious enough to carry to the outfield. Breanne and I talked a little about hot dogs and then it was the bottom of the third so we went down to the player’s entrance.

Brayden was there, and he showed us the box we’d be handling. It was probably 3x3’ and it had two handles, one for each of us, while your other hand went under the box for support. He showed us the hot dogs and they were plastic and surprisingly small. He and another girl, I missed her name, would be flinging the tiny hot dogs at us with lacrosse sticks. Brayden commented on the wind and recommended that we concentrate on only one of the hurlers so we’re not crab-walking back and forth trying to catch every one. After these instructions, we waited in a special bleacher section just beyond 1^st base until the middle of the 5^th, when we were to go on.

While we sat in the special bleachers, we noticed that indeed the wind was blowing mightily. I wondered how we we’re going to catch those tiny pieces of plastic once they got caught up in the gusts. I would find out soon, as the 4^th and the top of the 5^th blew by and suddenly we were following a guy named Tom onto the field and they were announcing our names over the loudspeakers.

They got Breanne Blanchette right, but I was Luke Kay-ez. We were positioned about 30 feet from Brayden and the girl, both of them standing next to buckets of fake hot dogs, both of them holding plastic youth lacrosse sticks. The wind continued to blow and the man behind the microphone called out, “They have 30 seconds to catch 5 hot dogs. Let’s see if they can do it.” And then a bell or horn sounded, and Brayden and the girl started flinging hot dogs at us. The first one sailed probably 20 feet over our heads. The next one went way to our right, possibly into the dugout. Then one fell 10 feet short. 20 feet past us again. The wind whipped the little wieners around and they flew in every direction but ours. Despite the fact that I was hardly moving, the wind tore my hat from my head and sent it rolling like tumbleweed back towards home plate.

Before we knew it, the 30 seconds had passed. Not only had we not caught a single hot dog, I don’t believe a single one even hit the box. Someone passed me my hat, another girl with a camera passed Breanne a little card with an email address on it, and we were escorted off the field to absolutely no reaction from the crowd. As we passed through the gate, Tom, who we’d followed on the field earlier, handed me some coupons for free hot dogs. Behind the coupons were 8 Sea Dogs tickets. I said to him, “We didn’t catch any,” but he said it was so windy they decided to give us the prize anyway. Pity tickets are still tickets.

Back in the stands we were celebrities for about 2 minutes, answering questions about the hot dogs, the box, and the wind. We stayed for another inning and a half and then I had to go to class.